Are you taking feedback from “EVERY” Tom, Dick and Harry?

Because if they are not in any circle of influence for you, you shouldn’t really be taking it on board…

Listen of course, because they “may” make some valid point at times.

However, just treat their comments as mere opinions, rather than guidance. You need to be mindful of “WHO” you take your guidance from to then act on that guidance.

Everyone has an opinion but not everyone has your best interests at heart. So be mindful of whom you get your advice, feedback or guidance from.

Choose wisely!

Happiness is a choice

Happiness is a choice, it isn’t based on what things happen in your life.

Happiness is a personal trait and a choice! So if you choose to be happy then you will be!

Some people have said,

“Oh if only I had xxxx, then I would be happy…” or

“If I could be just like xxxx, then I would be happy…”

There are many examples of this where people are determining their happiness based on the outcome of an external situation or action. This is incorrect, as happiness is far more powerful when it is an internal trait. Sure external things can enhance happiness or decrease it, but you are still the “owner” of how you choose whether to be happy or not?

You can’t delegate happiness to external factors only, as you will be forever the victim of the “winds of life” that are passing your way. And as we know, life can be harsh sometimes. So when it is harsh, even if just a little bit, then bang goes your happiness.

However, if you choose to be happy and this comes from within, because for instance, you are happy to be alive, then external factors won’t stop you from being happy. Because you have made the choice not the external factor determining it for you.

External factors can affect your level of happiness of course because we are emotional creatures after all. But external factors shouldn’t undermine or affect YOUR decision on being happy because you own that trait and have chosen to be happy.

Just because I don’t agree with you…

Just because I don’t agree with you doesn’t mean I don’t care, respect or still care about you!

We just disagree and that’s all. We are individuals after all and can’t possibly agree about everything. Having differing opinions is what makes the world interesting, otherwise, we would all be exactly the same and in fact, progress would not be made if we all thought the same!

It’s when people have differing opinions, do you get to see the world from another viewpoint that we may not have initially considered or understood.

Even after seeing that viewpoint, you may still not agree with it, but at least you are aware of the differing viewpoint. You don’t need to accept it, but you need to be aware of it and respect the person who has this differing view.

Because if you are entitled to your point of view, they are also entitled to theirs despite us perhaps not agreeing with it.

The world at the moment, appears to have lost the art of disagreement and has now made it somehow an offensive issue? It also seems to be whoever shouts the loudest is the one that is perceived as “right” as opposed to what actually IS right!

If other people disagree with you, try and find some middle ground (as sensible adults) where you can come to some consensus and move on.

As long as the disagreement doesn’t negatively directly affect anyone physically or mentally, then you can and should accept that you have differing viewpoints. It doesn’t mean however that you have to hate one another or get to the point of inflicting pain on one another.

It is still enough in this world for people to disagree amicably and reach a consensus rather than be acrimonious to one another.

Life is simply too short to be acrimonious with one another. It just leads to bitterness, ill health and shorter lifespan!

Did your dog eat your homework?

Have you ever failed to give homework in as a child and come up with an excuse for not doing it?

Have you ever resorted to the kind of excuse used in the title of this piece, where you’ve tried to convince the teacher that your dog ate your homework?

Looking back on things like this, we may raise a smile remembering some of the weirder excuses we may have used whilst growing up, when failing to turn in homework, or perhaps not wanting to do PE (Physical Education), so we came up with some excuses to get out of those which looking back, were equally daft?

But don’t we bring some of these excuses into adulthood too?

Don’t we sometimes treat other adults too with similarly vague or silly excuses to justify why we haven’t succeeded in a particular way?

So the excuses from childhood have only been tweaked for adulthood…

Such as, why aren’t we in the best job for our ability? Why have we let out talents go to waste? Why have we squandered all our money? Why haven’t we made a go of that business?

We then try and give an excuse, by saying life’s circumstances have prevented us from succeeding in some way, resulting in this non-success.

When in reality it may be more because we had a fear or lack of courage to “go for it”, but the excuse always feels better than having to admit we were actually afraid to try

Sometimes we really need to dispense with these lame excuses for non-success and realise they are just as bad as “The dog ate my homework”, because in reality who are we trying to fool? We’re only fooling ourselves if you haven’t succeeded, no one else.

So isn’t it better to look in the mirror at ourselves and face WHY we haven’t done something so we can be clear on how to put it right; as opposed to coming up with excuse after excuse to justify why things are just not happening for us

This isn’t easy for sure, but at least you can draw a line in the sand and put away the excuses, and instead give it a go!

Otherwise, you will forever be making daft excuses TO yourself!

The problem you’re having right now…

The problem you are having right now will most likely pass. Just like other problems you have had through your journey in life. Problems are PART of life’s journey.

Problems shape us. They make us stronger. They give us experience and knowledge despite the pain often experienced whilst going through them.

So your viewpoint may need to change in order to navigate problems better than you may be dealing with them right now

So it might feel like you’re passing a stone right this minute, whilst you are smack bang in the middle of the issue you are experiencing. However, give it some time and it should pass (the problem, not the stone! 😉!

If you look back on your life, would you say that you have had NO problems or issues at all? And this problem is unique?

Of course not. That is highly unlikely to be the case, so understand that any problems you have faced before have now passed and (hopefully) you have learned from them. So the one you are going through now will be similar

Whilst I appreciate some problems are different in scale and intensity, they are nonetheless problems we have to overcome.

Learning to deal with the problems IS what makes us stronger and better equipped to deal with the next one which inevitably will follow in the future

The only time a problem can’t be addressed is if that problem literally kills us. Whilst we may feel sometimes that most problems could do this, thankfully they do not and we mostly come out the other side having learned something from it, even if that lesson happened to be arduous and uncomfortable

We either mitigated the issue; find a way to overcome it or we find a way to remove it entirely. But either way, we have somehow “dealt” with it and moved on

So you just need to adopt a different viewpoint and “can do” approach to whatever you are facing and you will again overcome it and realise it is just another life lesson

Risk Assessment

Have you ever done a risk assessment on your personal circumstances?

For those that don’t know what this is, this is where you look at your situation and assess different areas of your life and evaluate whether any are prone to the risk of going wrong, or something bad happening. You then put plans in place to eliminate, reduce or mitigate that risk

Now of course you can’t cover all eventualities of course, but by putting in place plans to cover if things go wrong, you are softening the blow if something DOES happen, or you can reduce the risks of something happening to a really low level so the likelihood of it occurring is very very small.

So for example, if you assess your health and see how you look after yourself and grade it based on a number of factors, such as:

  • what fitness regime you have in place to stay healthy?
  • do you smoke?
  • do you drink alcohol and if so, how much do you drink?
  • what sort of foods are you eating?
  • are you overweight?

These are just some of the questions you would begin to ask of yourself and you then grade how good (or bad) they are for you. Obviously, you must be truthful when doing something like this or there is no point in doing it.

I have just touched the surface of the sort of questions you would begin to ask above if you were truly going to look at the answers and then make steps or direct changes, in place to reduce your chances of becoming ill.

You can apply this type of risk assessment to other areas of your life, such as your job or career, your finances and your property too

It makes sense to do this, to see area’s that are more at risk of potentially going wrong and what steps you can put in place to ensure they don’t go wrong. If however, some are out of your control because they are totally dependant on others (such as a job), then you can put mitigation steps in place. These are plans ahead of time, in case they do go wrong, thus reducing any pain points if they did go wrong

An example of this, is if you have a job, what steps are you doing to ensure your boss values you as an asset to their company? Are you working diligently and being a “can do” individual?

If you can’t do anything more than what you are already doing in your job, then what other forms of income do you have in place that aren’t dependant on a job? What other forms of income do you have? So if you were to lose your position, then you haven’t lost all your income. If you don’t have any other forms of income, then have you got any insurance that can cover you “should” you lose your job?

Again, I have only briefly touched on this risk assessment, but doing it properly for all areas of your life, will mean you can be more comfortable dealing with issues should they arise

A risk assessment is NOT however to put yourself in a state of fear. You just need to sensibly weigh up what is a genuine risk to you and balance that with enjoying life too.

It takes time and effort to do this, but if done sensibly, you can be more at peace with your situation!

Other than that, I wish you all a Merry Christmas for those that celebrate this time of year and wish everyone else Happy Holidays!

Life can be simple or complicated – it’s up to you which

Life can be simple or complicated, it really IS up to you

Complicated Approach

If you choose to take the complicated approach, then you choose to sweat all the issues that get thrown your way, be they big or small issues. And I can guarantee that you WILL get issues thrown your way.

You can then fret, worry and generally immerse yourself in the issue and let it eat away at you.

What’s the point?

Yes, issues will come and go, it’s what life will do to us all. But why consume more energy than is necessary? It is an issue that needs to be dealt with and then move on. Don’t let whatever it is, permeate inside of you as you will reduce your lifespan if you do too much of this!

Simple Approach

Enjoy every day because you “choose” to

Understand that life WILL throw things your way, it IS what life does. Some issues will be big and some will be huge. They all need to be dealt with, but they cannot “consume” you!

Just choose to have the attitude that whatever issue it is, is merely a “life lesson” that you have to navigate and deal with. The difference is that it is a lesson external to you.

Yes, you have to deal with it, but you keep it external. You don’t choose to let it affect you and enter inside of you. Doing this, as mentioned above, will reduce your life expectancy and you will likely get ill. Internalising issues that come your way is not a good tactic.

The difference between the two approaches as to whether you have a “simple” approach or ” complicated” approach, is your attitude

How you see the challenges according to your attitude will determine how you resolve them and ultimately have they will affect you physically and mentally

So facing issues with the right attitude determines whether life is indeed simple or complicated