Is your self-confidence good…yet?

What is your self-confidence like? Do you back yourself?

Do you like how you act in life and are happy with who you are?

Normally, our self-confidence can take a battering throughout our lives because we have had to listen to the word “NO” on many occasions, and being told “no” in whatever capacity, is like a very light form of rejection, as you cannot do the thing which has resulted in hearing the word “no”.

Whilst “no” could be said by someone in authority as a way of protecting us, many of us having heard the word “no” thousands of times during our lives, sometimes take this stoppage in what we want to do, as something we are doing wrong, so we are somehow “less”.

This is entirely crooked thinking, and can and does undermine our self-confidence. Just because an action cannot be performed, the action can be delayed or amended. An action is something we “do” it is not a part of who we “are”

This is why most adults take these insecurities which have their source in childhood and falsely apply them into adulthood, therefore believing we are not quite good enough.

This stifles our confidence and self-worth and therefore we become apprehensive and don’t get as much fulfilment in life as we should, falsely believing we “shouldn’t” try because of the false conditioning of all the “no’s” over the years.

This does not serve us well in adulthood as it stifles us from achieving what we want to try and achieve.

This can be changed just by changing some of the vocabulary we use on a day-to-day basis. Instead of doubting ourselves, maybe introduce the word “YET” into our vocabulary.

So if something doesn’t go to plan, or we haven’t managed to do, it’s because we haven’t perhaps quite mastered it…Yet!

This slight shift in language means what we currently can’t do isn’t forever. It gives scope to believe we can go again until we DO get things right. This builds confidence over time, meaning we are starting to believe in ourselves.

So improving our confidence is not something that can happen overnight, but we can get there step-by-step by changing our vocabulary slightly.

Don’t wait to show what you can do…

“Don’t wait to show the world your magic”

The world is ready for you now. 
Go on…don’t be afraid. Take that step to show the world what you really can bring to the table.

Just go for it and let out your talent.

That’s ok, just go and try things you like. Because normally with things you like, you can find something there that you are then passionate about. And if you are passionate about something than you can share YOUR energy and enthusiasm about it to others.

Passion naturally brings energy and enthusiasm, so sharing that with others, is bringing your talent to the world!

You don’t even need to excel at anything in particular, just bringing passion to things you love doing is mostly enough.

So free you magic to the world, they need to see you passion and if you discover you have talent for something too, then all the better!

My delivery driver…

As we live in a small village, we get the same delivery driver for many packages we order and he is a cheery guy who always makes time to chat and smile even when he has to deliver packages in awful weather conditions (we are in the UK after all and the weather here can be rather awful)

Anyway, I stopped him one day when he came to deliver a package and water was literally dripping down his face because of the horrendous rain, but he still smiled as he gave me the package.

“Tom”, I said, “how come you are always cheery? It’s a wonderful trait so please don’t lose it, but why are you always so happy?”

He replied, “Happiness is a choice! And I choose to be happy”

“I used to grumble all the time about life’s pressures and it didn’t achieve anything. All the moaning and grumbling did was make me even more depressed. So I decided enough is enough, I need to choose to be happy, even if problems appeared, I chose to control my attitude and I did! And life has been so much better ever since. Of course, I still get problems, but I don’t moan about them anymore. I just deal with them and that’s it. I keep my emotions out of it”

I now don’t like mixing with people who are always moaning and groaning. If only more people were happy with life, the whole world would be a great place!”

What a wonderful attitude. Tom realised that moaning about life didn’t solve anything to do with whatever problem he encountered.

So instead he “chose” to be happy and deal with issues in a happy frame of mind. This made solving the problems he could influence so much easier and left him feeling so much better too without compounding any stress he may have felt.

Couldn’t we be more like Tom and keep the issue away from our emotions? And “choose” to be happy?

Of course, we can!

Be careful…

We are constantly talking to ourselves and the crazy thing is, we are listening too!

So what we say to ourselves makes a HUGE difference to how things turn out. You see how the subconscious part of our brain (or our being) can tap into things we don’t fully understand, but we do know that it is powerful. So if you speak negatively to yourself, then the subconscious part is looking for negative things to confirm what you have said.

The opposite is true if you talk positively to yourself. Your subconscious part will look for positive things to confirm what you have just told it.

So you must be very careful what you say to yourself in the everyday conversations you have with yourself, and these conversations throughout a day count possibly into the hundreds.

If the majority of these conversations are negative, you will discover negative things are drawn to you and vice versa. If the majority of conversations with yourself are positive, you will discover positive things are drawn to you.

So try as much as possible to have positive conversations with yourself when you are talking to yourself. These conversations aren’t always going to be “sweetness and light” of course, because “life” throws challenges our way and we have to deal with them.

But do try and make a point of ensuring that the vast majority of this self-talk conversation is positive, so you will indeed attract more positive outcomes.

If you think you can’t change the world…

Then you are probably right and you are one of those that certainly can’t.

However, if you change some small element in YOUR life for the better, you have changed the world in a small way.

You are part of the world, so if you change something in your life, that makes you better, this can ripple outwards and influence others, contributing to a better world. Here are some examples:

  1. Improve Your Health: Pursuing a healthier lifestyle not only benefits you but also sets an example for others. (e.g., by choosing to eat whole, nutritious foods and maintaining regular exercise, you may inspire friends and family to do the same, leading to a community that values health and wellness.)
  2. Cultivate Kindness: Small acts of kindness can have a huge impact. Make it a habit to offer compliments, assistance, and support whenever you can. Over time, this positivity can spread and become part of the cultural norm.
  3. Adopt Sustainable Habits: Environmental changes often start with individual action. By reducing your carbon footprint (e.g., using public transport, recycling, minimizing waste), you encourage others to reconsider their environmental impact.
  4. Engage in Lifelong Learning: Commit to learning new skills or improving your knowledge. This not only enhances your life but can motivate others to prioritize education and personal growth, potentially leading to more informed and skilled communities.
  5. Foster Inclusivity: When you strive to be more accepting and inclusive in your interactions, you create a more tolerant and understanding social circle that can extend to a wider community.
  6. Spread Optimism: Maintaining a positive outlook can be infectious. By looking for the good in situations and expressing gratitude, you’ll likely affect the attitudes of those around you.
  7. Practice Financial Responsibility: Being mindful of your finances and making ethical purchasing decisions can inspire others to do the same, leading to a more economically stable and conscious society.
  8. Support Social Causes: Actively contribute to causes you believe in, whether through volunteering, donating, or educating others about the issues. Such involvement can ignite collective action for societal improvement.
  9. Build Strong Relationships: By working on your relationships and creating trusted bonds, you help to build a network of support that can be beneficial in times of need, promoting a sense of community and shared responsibility.
  10. Encourage Creativity: Share your creativity with the world, whether it’s through art, music, writing, or any other form. Doing so can inspire others to express themselves and find joy in creation.

It’s important to remember that while these actions might initially seem small, they can play a significant part in fostering a more positive environment both for yourself and for those around you.

And these small changes for you CAN make the world a better place for everyone too!

New year = New Start?

The new year is firmly with us, so how is it going so far?

Has it stated with a new start to your life? A new sense of purpose?

Perhaps even making lots of resolutions to make a change one way or another?

So how is it all going? Is the enthusiasm of a new start already starting to wane? Or are you still strong of character to still pursue your goals with the same gusto as to how you started them?

I do really hope that you are progressing nicely with your goals and making those small incremental changes needed to bring positive changes. Sometimes many of us fall foul because we want everything to happen quickly, when in reality that simply doesn’t happen that way.

Lasting change takes time to implement using consistent and persistent effort. It can’t manifest itself over just a couple of weeks, otherwise it wasn’t really a life changing goal to begin with.

So my message to you is, hang in there. Focus on the end goal of what it is you want to achieve. Don’t focus on the here and now as any small gains may be too small to really recognise as it is too soon. You only start to measure small wins or milestones after about a month initially. Then assess as to how things are going then and adjust things then if necessary.

Don’t lose heart, keep on going. Just pat yourself on the back for starting as that is actually the biggest hurdle most people struggle with.

So if you have at least started on your pursuit of your goal, congratulate yourself for taking that first step. It’s just now you need to remember to NOT stop until the goal is reached.

Season’s Greetings!

Most people get some down time during this festive period and hopefully look forward to the new year with some “hope” that things will be better in the New Year.

Whilst hope is a wonderful thing, this is left too much to chance, so we need to “make” things happen in our lives if we want things to be better.

Things we cannot directly control we have to accept that we cannot control and let them go as they are just a part of life, so we don’t need to sweat over them.

Things we “can” control and influence directly in a positive manner, then we should attempt to do so if it is beneficial to do so and we “want” to affect them in some way.

Realise this difference that we do have the choice on many levels to influence the things that happen to us.

Take the time to reflect on what those are and if you’re unsure, spend some time to write them down and decide which things you can or can’t influence or change. Doing this simple exercise during this holiday period can give you clarity for the future, knowing what you can let go of without worry and those things you have the choice to influence and change.

Enjoy time with loved ones, but also have some down time for reflection wherever possible