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Someone said to me recently, Tony, my life is completely shit!

Now I don’t know if they were being genuine or just frustrated, because we can all be like that at times. 

We can get overwhelmed, and we all go through rough patches and say things we don’t really mean. 

But I want to be honest with you. 

The first thing you need to realise is that saying your life is completely awful isn’t objective reality. It’s subjective. It’s a feeling, not a fact.

And where you are in the world has a massive bearing on how difficult you think the things you are facing are. 

Think about it for one second. 

Millions of people living in war zones or extreme poverty, like the people in Gaza right now, would gladly swap their typical day with your version of a piece of shit life –  in a single heartbeat. 

So right off the bat, it’s all relative, isn’t it? 

It all comes down to your own perspective.

The second thing you need to realise is that you can also attract things into your life based on what you dwell on.

If you walk around constantly believing that your life is awful, you’re going to spot every single negative thing that happens and completely ignore the good stuff that happens too!

This negativity affects your mindset and brings you down, creating a downward spiral, which obviously isn’t good.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Everyone has bad things happen to them at times. 

That’s not unique to just you. That’s just called life! 

We all face challenges, and we all hit bumps in the road. 

But the sheer volume of negativity you carry around with you? 

That actually depends on YOU!

The daily actions you take and your focus attract circumstances into your life. 

Some of what you pull in is the good stuff, which is great, and some of it is tough and obviously not so good. 

But your life is not ALL bad. So we have to eradicate this type of language, as it will affect your mindset if you keep saying it.

There is a huge difference in the amount of negativity one person experiences compared to another, and it almost always comes down to your attitude.

Two people can be in the exact same situation, and one views it as challenging, whilst the other views it as just another everyday event.

It is your attitude to THAT event that is key.

If you change your attitude toward life, shift your focus to what you can control, and just let go of the things you cannot directly influence, the negative stuff naturally starts to diminish. 

The negative stuff loses its power and stops dominating your everyday existence.

It sounds too simple, right? 

You may be thinking, 

“So I just change my attitude and the problems grow less?”

YES, that’s right!

Don’t believe me? Give it a go! Try shifting that mindset today and see what happens.

Or get my 10 Secrets to Confidence eBook, which talks about your change in mindset, which not only builds your confidence but gives you a better life outlook too.

Let’s change your perspective, fix that attitude, and get to work on building a life you actually enjoy.

Let’s be honest for a moment. 

How much time do you spend looking at a screen? 

Particularly our phones?

Our phones are wonderful pieces of technology. They allow us to do many things we wouldn’t have dreamed of just a few years ago. 

But the truth is, nowadays we are on electronics far too much, and it is having a real detrimental effect on our lives. It is also reducing our actual contact and relationships with real people.

There are many people out there, particularly in the 18 to 29 age bracket, who spend a great deal of time on their phones without forming real relationships. 

They have lost the art of communication because of their devices. This isn’t just bad for them mentally, but it is actually causing problems for society as a whole. Young people are therefore withdrawing and failing to contribute to society in a positive and meaningful way.

Now, I am not advocating stopping the use of electronics altogether, because you are watching this video on a device after all. And using electronics in moderation is fine. 

But what I am advocating is taking regular breaks for your mental well-being. 

So make a promise to yourself. 

Have one day per week when you don’t use ANY electronics at all for 24 hours. And if you can’t manage this once a week, do it once a fortnight. But do it.

So on those days you choose to stop using all electronic devices, such as phones, laptops, computers, smart devices, etc., you need to find other things to do that don’t involve electronics.

I know, I know, some of you may say, but Tony, you don’t understand: I need to be contactable on my phone, so I can’t go a day without using my phone.

Ok. 

Have your phone if you need to be contactable, but ONLY use it for voice calls, not anything else. 

No texting, no checking social media, no taking pictures, nothing else!

So make an effort to speak to real people instead of using your phone.

Try it and let me know how you get on. You may discover you feel better when you do this.

Are you someone who absolutely dreads making a To-do list?

Maybe you avoid them altogether because you look at that blank page and think, there is just too much to put down.

Perhaps it feels like a mountain of pressure, and the mere thought of it leaves you feeling completely overwhelmed, stressed out, and frankly, a bit unhappy before you even start.

If that sounds like you, I completely understand.

But what if we flipped the script?

Instead of a traditional To-do list, I want you to try something much simpler, much kinder, and far more rewarding.

It is called the “Matters More List.”

The beauty of the Matters More List is that it completely removes the heavy stress of those major, critical tasks that you feel you “need” to do.

We are taking that pressure right off the table.

Instead, this list is exclusively for the things you actually “want” to have done. It is about shifting your focus from a chore to a win.

Let me give you an example of how this works.

At the end of the day, instead of beating yourself up over what you didn’t finish, you ask yourself three simple questions.

First: “Did you do something fun today? And if so, what was it?”

It could be as simple as listening to your favourite song or having a laugh with a colleague.

Second: “Did you show love towards someone today? And if so, who?”

A quick text to a friend, a hug for your partner, or a pet, or a kind word to a stranger.

And third: “Did you do something difficult today, but it was good for you? If so, what was it?”

Maybe you took a short walk in the rain, or you are eating a healthy food you wouldn’t normally have, or you finally cleared that one messy drawer.

You see, this isn’t about being perfect or clearing a massive amount of time. It is about training your brain to recognise the small, positive wins you are already achieving every single day.

It gets you into the brilliant habit of keeping a list, but without a single ounce of anxiety.

So give it a go. Ditch the overwhelming pressure of the To-do list tonight, and start your very own Matters More List.

Focus on what truly matters, celebrate those mini wins, and watch how much better you start to feel about your day.

Take the time to get this right, and you will start to feel better about yourself.

You’ve heard the expression, he’s thick-skinned. Well, what does that actually mean?

It’s not literally someone with thick skin, is it? No, of course not.

It’s rather someone who isn’t unduly affected by outside noise or negative influence.

And let’s be honest, in today’s world, that is something we all need a lot more of.

We need to build a shield around ourselves. To become more impenetrable. And to protect who we are.

You see, your inner core is what makes you who you are and makes you a unique, special individual. And it is exactly this bit that needs protecting the most. Often, it is directly affected by the external influences that life throws at us. So, we do need to shield ourselves from them.

We must minimise the negative impacts they often bring into our lives. If we let these negative influences into our core, without some kind of shield or filter in the way, they can severely and negatively affect our mental health. They drag us down, and they hold us back from being our best.

So, how do we create a shield to protect our inner core? We can’t literally grow thicker skin, can we? And we certainly can’t remove ourselves entirely from society.

Therefore, we need to create a positive barrier.

We do this by improving our self-confidence.

Improving your self-confidence builds a strong shield around you, protecting you every single day. It acts like a thicker skin, stopping outside judgment, aggression, and negative talk from seeping in and causing you real damage.

For those of you who remember the old Ready Brek adverts, it showed a young boy with a warm glow right around him. That is exactly what confidence does to you. It creates a powerful aura around your body.

First, it shows others what a wonderful person you are because you truly shine with greater confidence. And secondly, it creates a protective barrier around you, shielding your inner core and reducing the emotional impact of those external forces.

Now, let me ask you… Isn’t this worth getting good at?

Improved self-confidence doesn’t protect you one hundred percent, of course. But it stacks the deck of cards completely in your favour. You are far less likely to be affected by the everyday challenges we all meet in life. Most of those challenges will just bounce right off you. You won’t let them get under your skin, because your confidence is your shield.

Now, isn’t this worth seeking?

I have an ebook titled 10 Secrets of Confidence, available exclusively on my website, that will help you become more confident and create that vital shield around yourself.

This will enable you to deal with life’s challenges much better and improve the success that true confidence brings.

The details are here.

Ever feel like your head is just too full?

Like you have a million tabs open in your mind, and you are not quite sure which one to click on first?

We have all been there. It is that feeling of being overwhelmed by everything you need to do, everything you need to remember, and all those big goals you have set for yourself.

The problem is, your mind is not meant to be a storage locker for lists. It is meant to be free so it can focus on actually getting things done.

So today, I want to share a simple technique to help you clear that clutter. It is called a Brain Dump.

And here is how you do it.

Firstly, find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed for at least 30 minutes.

Next, make sure there are no distractions that can interrupt you. So if you have your phone, put it on silent and move it away so you are not tempted to look at it.

Make sure any TV, radio, or music is switched off too. So no distraction at all.

Next, get a pad of paper and a pen next to you, and sit down and relax.

Let your mind just wander.

Initially, the noise in your head may be very busy, clamouring for your attention.

Take everything swirling around in your head and get it down on paper.

It doesn’t matter what it is, just write it down.

Some things may be totally irrelevant, like reminding you to buy bread, but don’t act on any of these thoughts.

Just write them down too.

Do not worry about making it look pretty, either. Do not worry about being perfect. Just get it out and down onto the paper.

Whether it is a huge project, a big challenge you’re facing, or just a small task like clearing out a square metre of your garage, write it all down.

Once it is on paper, your brain can finally breathe.

It gives your brain the actual clarity to look at the paper, discard the unimportant stuff and make a plan to work out how to resolve the important stuff – because you can now finally see clearly!

How much time do you actually spend looking after the most important person in your life? 

And I am talking about YOU, by the way. 

We live in a world that is constantly demanding our attention, isn’t it? 

We are busy writing chapters for everyone else’s story, but we often leave our own pages blank or, worse, filled with exhaustion. 

I want to talk to you about self-care, because it is the secret engine behind unshakeable confidence. 

That seems strange to link confidence to self-care, but think about it. 

When you are running on empty, that inner voice, that harsh critic we have talked about before, gets a lot louder, doesn’t it? 

It starts whispering that you can’t do it. Or says things like, ” Why bother trying, you won’t succeed!”

But when you take care of your physical health, even just a little bit, the game changes. 

I am not saying you need to run a marathon tomorrow or get into physical shape today, just remember the Kaizen principle, which I have mentioned many times before. It is just a one percent improvement you are aiming for in a number of areas.

For instance, maybe you need to focus on getting an extra hour of sleep each evening. Or swapping an unhealthy snack with just one healthy meal per day, instead. 

A small change is the start!

You see, when you feel physically good, you naturally stand taller, and your posture improves. This is all signalling to your body and mind that you are feeling better about YOU! 

And what about your mental health, may ask? 

Silencing that negative self-talk is the ultimate act of self-care. It is about rewiring your thinking to realise that you are a special and amazing human being who deserves to feel great. 

When you respect yourself enough to rest and recharge, you are sending your brain a powerful message: Like you famous TV advert, so are telling yourself  “I am worth it.”

That is how you move the dial on your confidence scale. You don’t need huge changes, just a few tweaks here and there in how you treat yourself. 

So, what is your one small win for today going to be? Come on, you can make a small improvement today, no matter what has gone before.

Take the time to get this right, because a healthy you is a confident you.

The Only Vehicle You Can’t Trade In

We spend thousands of pounds and countless hours obsessing over our cars. We worry about the mileage, the paint job, and that weird clicking sound might be coming from the dashboard. But here is a reality check: You can always buy a new car. You only get one body.

Your body is the primary vehicle for your entire life experience. If you treat it badly, it’s going to break down long before you’ve reached your destination.

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The Performance Balance

To keep your “vehicle” on the road for the long haul, you have to master the middle ground.

• Don’t Thrash it, or how our American cousins say, don’t “Redline” it: Constant stress and zero rest will blow your engine. Burnout is just another word for a mechanical failure.
• Don’t Let It Rust: A car that sits in a garage for ten years won’t start when you need it to. Stagnation is the quickest way to lose your range of motion and vitality.
• Wear Out > Rust Out: It is far better to have a body that shows the “scratches and dents” of an active, adventurous life than one that has seized up from lack of use.

The Maintenance Schedule

Every high-performance machine needs a pit crew. Since you’re the driver and the mechanic, you need to schedule your own check-ups and service intervals:

1. Fuel Quality: Are you putting premium fuel in the tank (your belly), or are you running on fumes and processed “sludge”? What type of food are you eating? Is it wholesome food that is made at home? Or do you constantly eat ready meals or fast food?
2. Fluid Levels: Hydration is the oil that keeps your gears turning. Are you drinking enough water each day? You’re supposed to drink around 8 glasses of water per day and ideally around 2 litres every day. Yes, you will pee at lot to begin with whilst your body is getting used to the higher level of water intake, but after a short while, your body will adjust and the water will have a beneficial effect on your body.
3. The Alignment: Check your posture. If you’re pulling to one side, you’re going to experience uneven wear and tear on your skeleton, which can cause long term issues.

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Today’s Quick Win: The Five-Minute Tune-Up

We aren’t looking for a total engine overhaul today—just a quick calibration.

Your Task: For the next five minutes, perform a “System Check.” Stand up, stretch your limbs to their full range of motion, and drink a large glass of sparkling or non-sparkling unflavoured water.

The Goal: Remind your body that it’s being used and cared for. A body in motion stays in motion, and a body that is maintained reaches the finish line in style.

What’s one “maintenance” habit you’ve been putting off that we can get back on the schedule this week?