Author: Tony Fasulo

We’ve all done it.

You look at someone winning at the highest level—whether they’ve built a thriving business, mastered a skill, or transformed their physical health—and your mind defaults to a simple conclusion: “They’ve got the magic touch.”

You see the trophy, the platform, the applause. You see the fruit of the labour.

What you don’t see is the iceberg.

The 10% vs. The 90%

The part of an iceberg floating above the waterline is only about ten percent of its total mass. The remaining ninety percent sits submerged in freezing, dark, invisible water.

Success works the exact same way:

• Above the waterline: Recognition, confidence, results, milestone moments.
• Below the waterline: Cold mornings when motivation was nowhere to be found, quiet disciplines, ignored doubts, repeated failures, and relentless consistency when nobody was watching.

The harsh truth? Most people want the 10% without ever being willing to build the 90%. They want the view from the summit without the grit, determination and dedication required to trek through base camp.

The Gap Between Wanting and Believing

Why do so few people commit to the long haul?

At the start of any worthwhile journey, there are no guarantees.

You cannot look up the mountain and know with certainty that you will make it to the summit, because obstacles, even reduced visibility, can block your view.

That is why discipline alone isn’t enough; you need belief.

Belief isn’t pretending things will be effortless. Belief is stepping onto the path knowing it will test you, and deciding that the person you become along the way is worth every single step.

Today’s Quick Win: Build Your Underwater Strength

You don’t build an iceberg in a single dramatic burst; it gathers mass slowly, a little bit at a time, layer by layer.

Here is your call to action for today:

1. Pick One “Invisible” Task: Choose one small, non-glamorous action tied to a goal you care about. Something nobody will applaud you for today.
   
2. Commit to It for Just 10 Minutes: Whether it’s reading 10 pages of a motivational book to build YOUSELF; writing 2 paragraphs of a book you promised you’d write; or taking a brisk walk around the block to begin an exercise regime—do it without distractions.
   
3. Acknowledge the Foundation: When you complete this first small step, recognise that you just added a small layer beneath your waterline.

Real confidence and success aren’t born when the spotlight turns on and you’re in front of a crowd. It’s forged in the quiet moments when nobody is looking.

Back yourself today, lay the foundation, and let the results speak for themselves when the time comes.

We’ve all done it.

You get a brilliant spark of an idea, map out a meticulous plan in a notebook or a hidden folder, and then guard it like state secrets. Why? Because deep down, there’s that nagging fear: “What if someone steals it? What if they take credit for my genius?”

Here’s the blunt truth: A plan on paper is worth next to nothing.

You cannot build a future on intentions alone. You can’t deposit an unmade phone call into the bank, and you can’t inspire anyone with a project that lives only in your head. Until you pick up the tools, dial the number, or press “launch,” you don’t own a breakthrough—you own a daydream.

History is littered with brilliant minds who stayed broke, frustrated, and forgotten, not because they lacked vision, but because they never took the leap to bring it to fruition.

Don’t be the smartest spectator in the room.

Brilliance without execution is just wasted potential. The world doesn’t reward what you intend to do; it rewards what you actually put into motion.

Your Quick Win for Today:

Stop protecting the plan and start testing it.

1. Pick one project or idea you’ve been sitting on or hiding away.
2. Identify the single smallest step you can take to put it into the real world.
3. Execute it within the next 60 minutes. Make that call, draft that first pitch, register the domain, or tell someone who can hold you accountable.

Set the plan free. The magic isn’t in keeping it safe—it’s in watching what happens when you dare to build it.

Most of the fences holding us back aren’t built from concrete or steel. They are built entirely out of imaginary “what-ifs.”

Real, immediate danger is one thing—your survival instincts handle that just fine. But the chronic, paralysing fear that stops you from starting that new project, speaking your truth, or taking a bold step forward? That fear is purely manufactured in your own mind. It builds an invisible, self-imposed prison cell, and the wild part is that you are holding the keys.

Every time you let an irrational fear dictate your choices, you tighten the lock of paralysis in your own head. The good news is that once you realise you built the bars, you realize you can dismantle them just as easily.

3 Ways to Dissolve the Bars

• Separate fact from fiction:
  When hesitation strikes, ask yourself: “Is this an actual physical threat, or just an uncomfortable possibility?” Strip the drama away and look strictly at the facts. Write this down as it clears the clutter from your mind and puts it clearly down on paper to see.
  
• Shrink the monster:
  Write down the absolute worst-case scenario. When you see it on paper, it tends to lose its power compared to when it’s just a thought in your mind. Realise that even if it were to happen, you have more clarity and resilience to handle it.
  
• Act before the thought sets in:
  Action is the universal solvent of fear. You don’t need absolute confidence to move; you only need to take a single micro-step before the brain starts over-analysing.

Your Quick-Win Action Step Today

Identify one thing you’ve been putting off this week purely out of hesitation or fear of failure.

Do not wait until you feel ready. Take the first two-minute step right now—send the email, make the call, or write the opening line.

Walk straight through the imaginary bars and watch how quickly the cage disappears.

What is the single action you are going to take today to step outside your comfort zone?

Someone said to me recently, Tony, my life is completely shit!

Now I don’t know if they were being genuine or just frustrated, because we can all be like that at times. 

We can get overwhelmed, and we all go through rough patches and say things we don’t really mean. 

But I want to be honest with you. 

The first thing you need to realise is that saying your life is completely awful isn’t objective reality. It’s subjective. It’s a feeling, not a fact.

And where you are in the world has a massive bearing on how difficult you think the things you are facing are. 

Think about it for one second. 

Millions of people living in war zones or extreme poverty, like the people in Gaza right now, would gladly swap their typical day with your version of a piece of shit life –  in a single heartbeat. 

So right off the bat, it’s all relative, isn’t it? 

It all comes down to your own perspective.

The second thing you need to realise is that you can also attract things into your life based on what you dwell on.

If you walk around constantly believing that your life is awful, you’re going to spot every single negative thing that happens and completely ignore the good stuff that happens too!

This negativity affects your mindset and brings you down, creating a downward spiral, which obviously isn’t good.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Everyone has bad things happen to them at times. 

That’s not unique to just you. That’s just called life! 

We all face challenges, and we all hit bumps in the road. 

But the sheer volume of negativity you carry around with you? 

That actually depends on YOU!

The daily actions you take and your focus attract circumstances into your life. 

Some of what you pull in is the good stuff, which is great, and some of it is tough and obviously not so good. 

But your life is not ALL bad. So we have to eradicate this type of language, as it will affect your mindset if you keep saying it.

There is a huge difference in the amount of negativity one person experiences compared to another, and it almost always comes down to your attitude.

Two people can be in the exact same situation, and one views it as challenging, whilst the other views it as just another everyday event.

It is your attitude to THAT event that is key.

If you change your attitude toward life, shift your focus to what you can control, and just let go of the things you cannot directly influence, the negative stuff naturally starts to diminish. 

The negative stuff loses its power and stops dominating your everyday existence.

It sounds too simple, right? 

You may be thinking, 

“So I just change my attitude and the problems grow less?”

YES, that’s right!

Don’t believe me? Give it a go! Try shifting that mindset today and see what happens.

Or get my 10 Secrets to Confidence eBook, which talks about your change in mindset, which not only builds your confidence but gives you a better life outlook too.

Let’s change your perspective, fix that attitude, and get to work on building a life you actually enjoy.

Let’s be honest for a moment. 

How much time do you spend looking at a screen? 

Particularly our phones?

Our phones are wonderful pieces of technology. They allow us to do many things we wouldn’t have dreamed of just a few years ago. 

But the truth is, nowadays we are on electronics far too much, and it is having a real detrimental effect on our lives. It is also reducing our actual contact and relationships with real people.

There are many people out there, particularly in the 18 to 29 age bracket, who spend a great deal of time on their phones without forming real relationships. 

They have lost the art of communication because of their devices. This isn’t just bad for them mentally, but it is actually causing problems for society as a whole. Young people are therefore withdrawing and failing to contribute to society in a positive and meaningful way.

Now, I am not advocating stopping the use of electronics altogether, because you are watching this video on a device after all. And using electronics in moderation is fine. 

But what I am advocating is taking regular breaks for your mental well-being. 

So make a promise to yourself. 

Have one day per week when you don’t use ANY electronics at all for 24 hours. And if you can’t manage this once a week, do it once a fortnight. But do it.

So on those days you choose to stop using all electronic devices, such as phones, laptops, computers, smart devices, etc., you need to find other things to do that don’t involve electronics.

I know, I know, some of you may say, but Tony, you don’t understand: I need to be contactable on my phone, so I can’t go a day without using my phone.

Ok. 

Have your phone if you need to be contactable, but ONLY use it for voice calls, not anything else. 

No texting, no checking social media, no taking pictures, nothing else!

So make an effort to speak to real people instead of using your phone.

Try it and let me know how you get on. You may discover you feel better when you do this.

Are you someone who absolutely dreads making a To-do list?

Maybe you avoid them altogether because you look at that blank page and think, there is just too much to put down.

Perhaps it feels like a mountain of pressure, and the mere thought of it leaves you feeling completely overwhelmed, stressed out, and frankly, a bit unhappy before you even start.

If that sounds like you, I completely understand.

But what if we flipped the script?

Instead of a traditional To-do list, I want you to try something much simpler, much kinder, and far more rewarding.

It is called the “Matters More List.”

The beauty of the Matters More List is that it completely removes the heavy stress of those major, critical tasks that you feel you “need” to do.

We are taking that pressure right off the table.

Instead, this list is exclusively for the things you actually “want” to have done. It is about shifting your focus from a chore to a win.

Let me give you an example of how this works.

At the end of the day, instead of beating yourself up over what you didn’t finish, you ask yourself three simple questions.

First: “Did you do something fun today? And if so, what was it?”

It could be as simple as listening to your favourite song or having a laugh with a colleague.

Second: “Did you show love towards someone today? And if so, who?”

A quick text to a friend, a hug for your partner, or a pet, or a kind word to a stranger.

And third: “Did you do something difficult today, but it was good for you? If so, what was it?”

Maybe you took a short walk in the rain, or you are eating a healthy food you wouldn’t normally have, or you finally cleared that one messy drawer.

You see, this isn’t about being perfect or clearing a massive amount of time. It is about training your brain to recognise the small, positive wins you are already achieving every single day.

It gets you into the brilliant habit of keeping a list, but without a single ounce of anxiety.

So give it a go. Ditch the overwhelming pressure of the To-do list tonight, and start your very own Matters More List.

Focus on what truly matters, celebrate those mini wins, and watch how much better you start to feel about your day.

Take the time to get this right, and you will start to feel better about yourself.

You’ve heard the expression, he’s thick-skinned. Well, what does that actually mean?

It’s not literally someone with thick skin, is it? No, of course not.

It’s rather someone who isn’t unduly affected by outside noise or negative influence.

And let’s be honest, in today’s world, that is something we all need a lot more of.

We need to build a shield around ourselves. To become more impenetrable. And to protect who we are.

You see, your inner core is what makes you who you are and makes you a unique, special individual. And it is exactly this bit that needs protecting the most. Often, it is directly affected by the external influences that life throws at us. So, we do need to shield ourselves from them.

We must minimise the negative impacts they often bring into our lives. If we let these negative influences into our core, without some kind of shield or filter in the way, they can severely and negatively affect our mental health. They drag us down, and they hold us back from being our best.

So, how do we create a shield to protect our inner core? We can’t literally grow thicker skin, can we? And we certainly can’t remove ourselves entirely from society.

Therefore, we need to create a positive barrier.

We do this by improving our self-confidence.

Improving your self-confidence builds a strong shield around you, protecting you every single day. It acts like a thicker skin, stopping outside judgment, aggression, and negative talk from seeping in and causing you real damage.

For those of you who remember the old Ready Brek adverts, it showed a young boy with a warm glow right around him. That is exactly what confidence does to you. It creates a powerful aura around your body.

First, it shows others what a wonderful person you are because you truly shine with greater confidence. And secondly, it creates a protective barrier around you, shielding your inner core and reducing the emotional impact of those external forces.

Now, let me ask you… Isn’t this worth getting good at?

Improved self-confidence doesn’t protect you one hundred percent, of course. But it stacks the deck of cards completely in your favour. You are far less likely to be affected by the everyday challenges we all meet in life. Most of those challenges will just bounce right off you. You won’t let them get under your skin, because your confidence is your shield.

Now, isn’t this worth seeking?

I have an ebook titled 10 Secrets of Confidence, available exclusively on my website, that will help you become more confident and create that vital shield around yourself.

This will enable you to deal with life’s challenges much better and improve the success that true confidence brings.

The details are here.