Author: Tony Fasulo

We usually associate light and darkness with spiritual powers, where we have a deity who is good and, therefore, is the shining light at one end of a spectrum, whilst the evil opposite of the deity is portrayed as evil and associated with darkness at the other end of the spectrum.

However, where are you on this scale of light and darkness?

I am not implying you are a deity (a god) or even the opposite, a devil filled with evil, but on a scale of white to dark, which has many shades of grey in between, where are you on this spectrum? Where do you believe you fit?

Do you shine a light on people’s life? Do you have integrity and uplift others when you interact with them? Or do you bring shadow and darkness, because you upset and depress people based on your presence?

Take a step back and analyse how you behave. Are you wondering where you actually are on the grey scale? Are you closer to the light side, or are you closer to the black side?

Could you perhaps make some small changes to some of your actions in some way, leaving people feeling better after interacting with you? And therefore, you are moving closer to the light side of the spectrum?

If you are unsure where you perhaps lie on that scale, ask someone close to you to determine where you may be. That feedback may surprise you.

Whether you then want to change? Well, that choice is yours!

In my pit of denial, there is nothing wrong.
My world is dark, but there is nothing wrong.
My world is lonely, but there is nothing wrong.
My world is unhappiness and frustration, but there is nothing wrong.
My world has little hope, but there is nothing wrong.
My world is in pain, but I am “fine”; there is nothing wrong.

Why do others have smiles, and I do not?
Why do others have joy, and I do not?
Why do others live life and I do not?
Maybe in this dark, there “could” be something wrong?

Could I have “light” and “life” too?
“Maybe?”
But life is not for the likes of me, is it?

I must BE strong; just once
I must BE courageous; just once
I must BE brave; just once
But I’m afraid
But I must try anyway
Hold out my hand and say, “Help,” and light will come!

-Tony Fasulo

FEAR

Fear is a powerful force that can shape our lives in unexpected ways. It’s an emotion rooted in our survival instinct, but when it’s self-manifested, it can become a barrier that prevents us from achieving our full potential. This explores the end-to-end process of how self-created fears arise in our minds and paralyzes us from venturing forward and succeeding.

The Genesis of Fear

Self-manifested fear often begins with a thought. It could be a fleeting doubt, a past failure that resurfaces, or an imagined scenario of things going wrong. Our minds are incredibly powerful, and these initial thoughts can quickly snowball into larger fears and self doubts. We start to believe in the possibility of failure, rejection, or disappointment, even if there’s no concrete evidence to support these fears.

The Paralysis Effect

As these fears grow, they trigger physiological responses in our bodies—racing heartbeats, sweating, and a sense of dread. But more insidiously, they also affect our mental state. We begin to hesitate, overthink, and second-guess ourselves. This mental paralysis can be debilitating, making it difficult to take the necessary steps toward our goals. It’s like being trapped in an invisible cage, where the bars are in our mind and are made of our own doubts and anxieties.

Breaking Free from the Chains of Fear

Understanding the source of our self-manifested fears is the first step toward overcoming them. It is essential to recognize that these fears are not based on reality but on our perceptions and past experiences. By acknowledging this, we can start to challenge and reframe our thoughts.

Here are a few strategies to help break free from the chains of fear:

1. Self-Awareness: Pay attention to the thoughts that trigger your fears. Identify patterns and common themes.
2. Rational Thinking: Question the validity of your fears. Are they based on facts or assumptions?
3. Positive Visualization: Imagine successful outcomes rather than focusing on potential failures.
4. Small Steps: Take incremental steps towards your goals. Small victories can build confidence and reduce fear.
5. Support System: Surround yourself with supportive people who encourage and believe in you.

Conclusion

Fear is a natural emotion, but when self-manifested, it can hinder our progress and keep us from achieving our goals. By understanding how these fears develop and implementing strategies to overcome them, we can break free from their paralyzing grip and move forward with confidence.

I’ve already heard several people discuss 2024 on social media and say just how poor it has been.

Interestingly, it does not have much to do with the events that have occurred during the year that determine whether it was terrible. Of course, some events will be totally outside our control and potentially quite awful; however, the determining factor is how we respond to those events.

We control this one crucial thing—our response. We own that. We choose how to respond.

So, our response is the key to whether 2024 was a good year and whether 2025 will be more of the same.

Good and bad stuff happens to us throughout our lives; it’s called “Life”.

But the thing above all else is how we choose to respond to those events in Life.

Remember, we only have one life to live—as far as we know, we don’t get another one. And how we respond to that life is totally up to us. We can make it a fantastic life or a miserable life.

It’s in our hands; it’s our choosing.

So, choose to make 2025 a fabulous year!

It’s YOU!

Yep, you!

I think I know what you may be thinking…

You’re thinking, “I want the secret of success, not some lame answer saying I’m the secret of success”

If indeed you did think that, then you have done yourself a disservice. You see, you are the secret of success.

Because with few options around you, YOU could FIND steps to become successful.

With adversity around you, YOU could triumph, despite the adversity.

When things are going wrong, YOU can find the solutions to make the breakthrough.

All it takes is you, added with some endeavour and a winning attitude, and you can prevail.

You see, someone could be provided with all the advantages in the world, literally on a plate, and they still may fail to succeed.

So success doesn’t happen because of the opportunities that are presented. Success comes from opportunities that present themselves and are grabbed by YOU.

You are the catalyst for the success.

So look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I am the secret of my success” and go be successful!

You’ve just put yourself ahead of the majority, who never think they can make a difference, and because of this, they probably never will.

Studies show that individuals with a strong belief in themselves are more likely to set and achieve success in any capacity.

When we talk of success, we are not talking solely about some business or financial success, as success doesn’t need to be like this (although if this is what you decide to aim for, then you can, of course!).

The success we are talking about here is success at “achieving”, and that achievement could be simple if you look at it in isolation, but it could and would make a positive difference to someone else.

THAT IS THE TRUE DEFINITION OF SUCCESS!

If you make a positive difference to anyone else, no matter how small, you have made a difference.

The first step is “believing” you can do this. Having belief will spur you to

The second step is “researching” what you can do to make it a reality.

The third step is planning what you need to do to make those things happen

And the fourth step, which is very important, is “Acting” on the plan you have devised

The final fifth step is reflecting on what you have done and how it had the desired impact you had initially intended.

Doing all this, however small on the outcome, means you have made a difference, and this gives you further value as a human, so keep on believing!

The number of times I hear people tell me they like to “embrace change”

We all know that humans predominately hate change, no matter what many people say about it.

You see, “embracing change” is a mantra often cited in companies and a worthwhile endeavour. If you don’t continually change in business, you will be left behind and eventually fail. So embracing change and then going ahead and evolving with the business landscape is a fundamental requirement for businesses. Hence, they often use this term.

For individuals, however, it is undoubtedly harder because…

Change means uncertainty.

Change means anxiety.

Change means the unknown!

This equates to an often perceived false “fear” that prevents most people from acting to their full potential.

People often shy away from the change or put it off for a later time, and that later time is often far away.

By doing this, they hope to “not have to think about it” because it has been pushed away.

However, all this tends to do is build anxiety at the back of your mind because you know you still probably “have to do that change”, however uncomfortable it appears on the surface.

So, my message here is to look at whatever change you are facing, write it down on a piece of paper, and write out what you think the change will do to you. This is so you are “defining” the change in your mind.

Then, create a list of both the positive and negative outcomes of the change so you clearly have them written down.

Finally, challenge all the items you have written down.

Ask a trusted friend or family member to review what you have written down to see whether there is any “actual evidence” for any of the items written down. Or are the items listed merely negative or false thoughts you have thought about regarding the outcome, where there is no evidence associated with the possible reality?

This type of journaling is powerful as it forces us to put down on paper our uncertainties about the change and creates some semblance of order.

This process reduces anxiety because it takes the jumbled, uncertain assumptions in our brains and puts them down clearly on paper.

Try this exercise because you may discover, as often happens, that the change wasn’t as daunting as we had made it out to be.