My delivery driver…

As we live in a small village, we get the same delivery driver for many packages we order and he is a cheery guy who always makes time to chat and smile even when he has to deliver packages in awful weather conditions (we are in the UK after all and the weather here can be rather awful)

Anyway, I stopped him one day when he came to deliver a package and water was literally dripping down his face because of the horrendous rain, but he still smiled as he gave me the package.

“Tom”, I said, “how come you are always cheery? It’s a wonderful trait so please don’t lose it, but why are you always so happy?”

He replied, “Happiness is a choice! And I choose to be happy”

“I used to grumble all the time about life’s pressures and it didn’t achieve anything. All the moaning and grumbling did was make me even more depressed. So I decided enough is enough, I need to choose to be happy, even if problems appeared, I chose to control my attitude and I did! And life has been so much better ever since. Of course, I still get problems, but I don’t moan about them anymore. I just deal with them and that’s it. I keep my emotions out of it”

I now don’t like mixing with people who are always moaning and groaning. If only more people were happy with life, the whole world would be a great place!”

What a wonderful attitude. Tom realised that moaning about life didn’t solve anything to do with whatever problem he encountered.

So instead he “chose” to be happy and deal with issues in a happy frame of mind. This made solving the problems he could influence so much easier and left him feeling so much better too without compounding any stress he may have felt.

Couldn’t we be more like Tom and keep the issue away from our emotions? And “choose” to be happy?

Of course, we can!

Be careful…

We are constantly talking to ourselves and the crazy thing is, we are listening too!

So what we say to ourselves makes a HUGE difference to how things turn out. You see how the subconscious part of our brain (or our being) can tap into things we don’t fully understand, but we do know that it is powerful. So if you speak negatively to yourself, then the subconscious part is looking for negative things to confirm what you have said.

The opposite is true if you talk positively to yourself. Your subconscious part will look for positive things to confirm what you have just told it.

So you must be very careful what you say to yourself in the everyday conversations you have with yourself, and these conversations throughout a day count possibly into the hundreds.

If the majority of these conversations are negative, you will discover negative things are drawn to you and vice versa. If the majority of conversations with yourself are positive, you will discover positive things are drawn to you.

So try as much as possible to have positive conversations with yourself when you are talking to yourself. These conversations aren’t always going to be “sweetness and light” of course, because “life” throws challenges our way and we have to deal with them.

But do try and make a point of ensuring that the vast majority of this self-talk conversation is positive, so you will indeed attract more positive outcomes.

If you think you can’t change the world…

Then you are probably right and you are one of those that certainly can’t.

However, if you change some small element in YOUR life for the better, you have changed the world in a small way.

You are part of the world, so if you change something in your life, that makes you better, this can ripple outwards and influence others, contributing to a better world. Here are some examples:

  1. Improve Your Health: Pursuing a healthier lifestyle not only benefits you but also sets an example for others. (e.g., by choosing to eat whole, nutritious foods and maintaining regular exercise, you may inspire friends and family to do the same, leading to a community that values health and wellness.)
  2. Cultivate Kindness: Small acts of kindness can have a huge impact. Make it a habit to offer compliments, assistance, and support whenever you can. Over time, this positivity can spread and become part of the cultural norm.
  3. Adopt Sustainable Habits: Environmental changes often start with individual action. By reducing your carbon footprint (e.g., using public transport, recycling, minimizing waste), you encourage others to reconsider their environmental impact.
  4. Engage in Lifelong Learning: Commit to learning new skills or improving your knowledge. This not only enhances your life but can motivate others to prioritize education and personal growth, potentially leading to more informed and skilled communities.
  5. Foster Inclusivity: When you strive to be more accepting and inclusive in your interactions, you create a more tolerant and understanding social circle that can extend to a wider community.
  6. Spread Optimism: Maintaining a positive outlook can be infectious. By looking for the good in situations and expressing gratitude, you’ll likely affect the attitudes of those around you.
  7. Practice Financial Responsibility: Being mindful of your finances and making ethical purchasing decisions can inspire others to do the same, leading to a more economically stable and conscious society.
  8. Support Social Causes: Actively contribute to causes you believe in, whether through volunteering, donating, or educating others about the issues. Such involvement can ignite collective action for societal improvement.
  9. Build Strong Relationships: By working on your relationships and creating trusted bonds, you help to build a network of support that can be beneficial in times of need, promoting a sense of community and shared responsibility.
  10. Encourage Creativity: Share your creativity with the world, whether it’s through art, music, writing, or any other form. Doing so can inspire others to express themselves and find joy in creation.

It’s important to remember that while these actions might initially seem small, they can play a significant part in fostering a more positive environment both for yourself and for those around you.

And these small changes for you CAN make the world a better place for everyone too!

New year = New Start?

The new year is firmly with us, so how is it going so far?

Has it stated with a new start to your life? A new sense of purpose?

Perhaps even making lots of resolutions to make a change one way or another?

So how is it all going? Is the enthusiasm of a new start already starting to wane? Or are you still strong of character to still pursue your goals with the same gusto as to how you started them?

I do really hope that you are progressing nicely with your goals and making those small incremental changes needed to bring positive changes. Sometimes many of us fall foul because we want everything to happen quickly, when in reality that simply doesn’t happen that way.

Lasting change takes time to implement using consistent and persistent effort. It can’t manifest itself over just a couple of weeks, otherwise it wasn’t really a life changing goal to begin with.

So my message to you is, hang in there. Focus on the end goal of what it is you want to achieve. Don’t focus on the here and now as any small gains may be too small to really recognise as it is too soon. You only start to measure small wins or milestones after about a month initially. Then assess as to how things are going then and adjust things then if necessary.

Don’t lose heart, keep on going. Just pat yourself on the back for starting as that is actually the biggest hurdle most people struggle with.

So if you have at least started on your pursuit of your goal, congratulate yourself for taking that first step. It’s just now you need to remember to NOT stop until the goal is reached.

Season’s Greetings!

Most people get some down time during this festive period and hopefully look forward to the new year with some “hope” that things will be better in the New Year.

Whilst hope is a wonderful thing, this is left too much to chance, so we need to “make” things happen in our lives if we want things to be better.

Things we cannot directly control we have to accept that we cannot control and let them go as they are just a part of life, so we don’t need to sweat over them.

Things we “can” control and influence directly in a positive manner, then we should attempt to do so if it is beneficial to do so and we “want” to affect them in some way.

Realise this difference that we do have the choice on many levels to influence the things that happen to us.

Take the time to reflect on what those are and if you’re unsure, spend some time to write them down and decide which things you can or can’t influence or change. Doing this simple exercise during this holiday period can give you clarity for the future, knowing what you can let go of without worry and those things you have the choice to influence and change.

Enjoy time with loved ones, but also have some down time for reflection wherever possible

Do you have a mental “life” map as a guide?

This isn’t a literal map that you can buy from a store, but it should certainly be a kind of map, route or path to follow, to get you to a destination where you want to be. The destination, like an “X” marking the spot on a physical map, is your goal.

The mental “life” map, is a route to a success destination, rather than a physical location

The mental “life” map gives you a sense of purpose if you choose to follow it, because it shows you the path you have to tread. It gives you signposts directing you to that something more. Somewhere where you want to see yourself being.

The analogy sometimes given, is, you need a destination in order to begin the journey, so you need to be clear first of what you want out of life. The mental “life” map then gives you information for that journey.

Which route to take to navigate to that destination?

Which training will I need to help me get there?

What skills do I have to learn?

Shall I take the long and easy path or perhaps the shorter more tricky and challenging path?

You choose the direction you want to go on the map and how fast or slow you want to go too. You must ensure however, you have the right means of travel (energy and enthusiasm) and then follow the advice provided by the mental “life” map.

Without the map guiding you and informing you on the best way to turn, can be frustrating and leave you in limbo. This can lead to you mistakenly believing your life has no meaning or direction, leading to a disillusionment.

A UK term for this, is someone who is “lost” in life.

This is a real shame

So do you have a mental “life” map guiding you to an end goal?

One showing and suggesting the right direction to take on where you want to head to?

Or has this end destination not properly formed as yet, so the mental “life” map is of no use because you haven’t got a clue where you want to end up?

If not, you need to make time to find out where you want to get out of life. What is your purpose?

When you discover what this is, then your mental “life” map will become clearer and become easier to follow.

Money doesn’t make you happy…

We’ve all heard this statement haven’t we? That money doesn’t make you happy.

It’s strange however that is appears only people without money tend to say this?!?

I will stand corrected if I hear someone who does indeed “have a lot of money” say the same thing. So far, I am unaware whether this is the case.

You see this statement that money doesn’t make you happy is actually true. Money itself doesn’t buy your happiness, all it does it gives you the ability to purchase “things”. The “things” themselves don’t bring happiness. They may bring short term enjoyment, but that feeling is often short lived.

If however you have enough wealth, but you are NOT happy, then you can always “choose” to give it away to those that don’t have any.

I’m pretty sure those people who are the recipients of your generosity would accept it and be grateful of the gesture made by you. And the mere fact of giving any additional wealth and money you have to those that are in need of it (eg. good causes, people on the breadline, etc.) will give you something pleasurable in return, like a feeling of fulfilment and joy, because you have managed to do something good for others.

This is where true happiness lies. What you can do for others.

Money is not needed to do something good for others. It helps for sure, but it isn’t needed. You can gain happiness just by doing good deeds for others that are in need, and that doesn’t necessarily need money to do.

So to get happiness, don’t rely on money, instead take the focus off of yourself and do something to help others.

This will give you more than money ever could.