Category: Topics

Are you really?

A great number of people every year say a similar thing…
“Ok, this year I’m getting serious, I’m going to __________”

Unfortunately, every year the same thing seems to happen and they don’t get the success they have just stated

So what happened?

They let the everyday things in life which happen to us all, simply get in the way and block their path.

Oh you know, the excuses…this guy needed me and auntie Beryl wanted us to go there in the Summer and my kid needed help with his football lesson and this other stuff came, up and this other stuff came up and this other stuff came up, etc., etc., etc.

And before you know it weeks and months have passed and then the New Year comes around again! And they simply rinse and repeat the statements they made the year before, except this time, they are another year older and none the wiser!

People can claim that on this occasion things will be different because this year, “I am focused”, but in reality, they haven’t changed anything or really want to change anything, so they don’t!

Remember the definition of insanity? Is continuing the same activity and expecting a different result! This is exactly what is happening here!

There has to be a “serious” decision made, where you draw a line in the sand and you say, “Enough is Enough” and mean it this time.

Cast aside the things that will impede your successes and if that involves ditching people who are a drain on your life, then you need to make some important decisions to decide whether are they the right people to drive you forward in your life or not.

Do these people suck the enthusiasm out of you so impeding your progress? If so, don’t hang out with them. Leave them be. Instead, mix with people who encourage you and want you to succeed and can actually give you the means and advice TO succeed.

For this sort of higher level of information and advice on how to succeed, you need to pay for it. And don’t scrimp. If some people or companies have a track record and can provide you with the information you need to get you to your destination quicker than you would do on your own, then pay for this. It will be cheaper in the long term especially as good information comes at a price.

If you have to retrain to get ahead, look at that too! But do SOMETHING different to move forward.

Otherwise you will again be at the start of the new year repeating the same lines as before.

So I ask again, are you really serious this time?

I know, I know, when people say this, it sounds all whishy-washy and almost “new age” and most people simply switch off to this kind of language, because they simply don’t relate to it.

It could be because no one has ever taken the time to explain exactly what it actually means. You see, you are not supposed to literally love yourself like you would a partner nor love yourself in an arrogant way to believing you are the most handsome or beautiful individual and are therefore better than others…!?!

No, No, no…this is not what it means at all…

The meaning is that you take care of yourself.

Don’t talk down to yourself if you happen to do something wrong (and you will do things wrong, it’s part of learning!), which often happens with our self-talk. Our self-talk can get out of hand and we say things to ourselves that we would never say to anyone else. Unfortunately, you are listening and you take this stuff on board. It can also affect your behavior too if you do this often as your subconscious is paying attention to this language. So don’t say negative things to yourself, it simply is not worth it for your mental state of mind.

Don’t treat your physical body badly either. Look after it. Don’t treat it badly to the detriment of your health. Do exercise if you are able to and it doesn’t mean crazy or extreme stuff either. Just simply walking or swimming will do on a regular basis

The reason for loving yourself is that you have to live in your body for your whole life, so it has to serve you for a lifetime.

Therefore if you haven’t so far, get in the habit of taking care of it, mentally as well as physically. So you need to love yourself to take the time in order to do this properly. So give yourself breaks to recharge for your mental well-being. And ensure your physical state is as best it can be too!

So when you hear the term again, that you “need to love yourself” you may not feel quite so bad in hearing it, because you are now learning to love yourself too!

We sometimes get asked, “When are you going to do…xxx ?”

And typically we can answer, “Someday, I’ll get around to doing that…”

After all, we have loads of time available, so we can fit it in at some point, can’t we?

But do we have all the time in the world?

The clock in life is ticking and each day passes onto the next and we can’t get that previous day back. It is the past. It is a memory and nothing more. We can’t relive that day and hope to have it back again someday…!?! It is gone!

So if you have been planning to do that “something” but haven’t yet got around to doing it yet, then at the very least, have a date in the diary for when you ARE going to do it. Because remember, life ticks on by regardless and we only have a finite time on this planet when we are even fit and able to do stuff we want to do.

So don’t just utter the words, “Someday, I’ll do it” – instead say, “yes I will be doing it and the date is xxx” !

This is almost a strange question. A lot of people certainly play lottery games in whichever country they happen to be living in, but how many have actually thought about what would they “actually” do if they won the jackpot?

A lot of people in truth get very stuck.

After the usual things of paying off their mortgage (if they have one) and a new car and a fabulous holiday, then they run out of ideas.

Perhaps, they may help loved ones, but then what?

A common theme when asked whether they would give up a job, seems to be,

“I’m not sure, as won’t I be bored if I am not doing anything?”

This is because, for the majority of us, we have been programmed to work a job. That message is to work hard at that job and you will earn an income and be fulfilled. But if the money is taken care of, why work the job? Can’t we get fulfillment elsewhere?

Of course! Because fulfillment doesn’t need to come from a job but from a passion we may have. This passion is not normally from working for someone else.

Couldn’t you start your own business with an existing passion you have? And because you don’t need to do this to earn a living, you can do it because you just “want to” because it IS a passion. Wouldn’t that be great!?!

Find a cause that you can get your teeth into and help others now that you no longer have the burden of having to work a job

You could perhaps be altruistic and help other people achieve their hopes and dreams as well.

Statistics unfortunately for lottery winners aren’t great! What has happened on numerous occasions is that money and wealth have been squandered in a relatively short space of time and the winner of the fortune, has nothing to show for it. More often than not, they also have relationship breakdowns, alcohol abuse, or worse!

This is because they haven’t had a purpose and plan about what they would do if they did have the good fortune to win a large amount of money

You see money in the right hands can do a lot of wonderful things, so even though the chance of actually winning a jackpot is incredibly small, isn’t it fun to spend a few moments thinking about what you would do if you did?

You’d be glad that you did

Do you enjoy life right now? If you don’t enjoy life now, when are you planning to?

You could give this reason, “but the world at the moment is so terrible and prices are sky high for everything so how am I supposed to enjoy life?“

Whilst these are real issues that need to be dealt with, they should NOT be the reason you are not enjoying life. Life is actually separate from all of these issues. These issues are just part of your life’s journey that you encounter and you have to navigate around.
And you WILL get bad stuff that happens on your life’s journey and you WILL get good stuff that happens too!

Enjoying life is a decision that YOU control. You can decide to enjoy it or decide not to.

So yes you will have bumps in the road, everyone does, but ultimately you have to decide to enjoy life despite these bumps in the road.

Because if you had to swap places with someone who was in a warzone and being bombed each day, so that they didn’t know whether they would be around for their children, now would you swap places with them? Compare your issues with theirs…

So ensure that you DO enjoy life as much as possible. If you make that decision to enjoy life, strangely things will eventually go in your favour and you WILL enjoy life. So it is just a decision you have to decide to make

And then when you have decided, make each every day worth living, because we all have just a fleeting time on this planet, so do make the most of it and choose to enjoy the journey

The way you act towards others reflects back to you…

Be nice and you attract nice things toward you.

Want love? Choose to be lovely and you will attract love.

Want happiness? Chose to be happy and you will attract happiness!

But be aware this also works in reverse. So behaving badly attracts bad behaviour. Being sad attracts further sadness, and not being lovely, certainly doesn’t attract love, it repels it.

Someone did say, “…aren’t you happy because of how life treats you?”
“So if life is bad, then your emotions reflect how you have faired. So if you encounter sadness, then you are sad and not happy, etc…”

Whilst yes there will be times when you encounter sadness and therefore you will be sad. You are only sad for a short time it is not your “default” state of being.

The sadness will pass and you will then return to being happy. You don’t “stay” constantly sad. Being sad all the time, should not be your default state. Rather you need to be happy as your default state, with only the occasional sadness that sometimes life brings. Certainly not the other way around.

And it is this that some people struggle with.

So act the best you can be towards others, with love, with kindness, with happiness and that good will reflect back to you!

Be genuine, be real and be true to yourself!
You’ll sleep so much better at night as you’re not living your life behind deceit and false pretences, or trying to keep up a facade for the benefit of other people.

If you do put up this veil of deceit by trying to be someone else in your actions, this will soon wear thin and the cracks will start to appear and others will see through the false image

So isn’t it better to just dispense with this false narrative of trying to be someone who isn’t you?

If you’re not happy with yourself, then just improve who you are, but don’t try and be someone else in order to try and impress others. This is just doomed to failure.

So be who you really are. Show people the real you, but make that real you the best version of YOU