Blog

I have many friends who fit into several brackets.

Some are very focused on a goal and do all they can to achieve it at the expense of so many other things…

Whilst there are some, who don’t appear to be goal-focused at all, but instead seem to drift from day to day, without being motivated by anything it would seem? They have each day blur into the next and so on.

Now to be honest, in my opinion, these are both at the extreme end of the scale. You see chasing your goals without and regard to “life” as it happens, is at one end of the scale, whilst those who merely drift through life are at the other end.

Neither is really that good at all. The former are SO driven to reach their goal, that they can alienate all those around them whilst persuing the goal. Because they are so driven, means they will inevitably reach their target. However, if that success cannot be shared with those around you, then you do need to ask, what was the point in the first place?

Yes, it can be a noble achievement to reach your goal, but if you are at the summit on your own with no one else recognising that achievement, it can lead to severe disappointment.

Many who have reached a goal in this manner, report that reaching that goal wasn’t as good as they had originally anticipated. They then look back at the journey and notice the “destruction” they have left behind and only then realising their tunnel-visioned pursuit has damaged others on route.

Then you have those who don’t appear motivated at all, as described previously, and they drift through life. They don’t appear to use their talents for anything meaningful and have no energy, no lust for life, nor do they have any purpose either? The spring in their step is not there and generally, they are not the best people to be around.

So drawing a line with either of these two types of people at either end, shows that you need to aim, somewhere on that line, where YOU are comfortable. Not at either extreme end.

Personally, I believe you should aim to be more towards the goal-orientated side, but also to remember to stop occasionally along the journey of success, to pause and appreciate the view along that journey, especially shared with loved ones.

This way you still have a goal or purpose to aim for, giving you direction in life, but you then inspire others to embrace and support you on your journey, as opposed to alienating them.

This way, when you do reach your goal, you will have a number of cheerleaders celebrating your victory.

Also, you will discover that the journey to get to your goal was AS important as the goal itself.

I don’t normally like to create posts that have a political theme, but because of the goings-on in Afghanistan, I felt the need to make a point based on what has been happening over there.

On many of the major news outlets, we have witnessed many thousands of people fleeing the new Taliban regime. Frightened people making their way to the airport for evacuation with any few possessions they are permitted to take with them, and for some, they literally are having to leave with only the clothes on their backs.

Once safely away, they have to try and start a new life in another country, which can be so different to the place they are just leaving. However, because they have managed to get away with their lives, they are grateful for any opportunity.

This is not a situation isolated to Afghanistan. People in many other places around the world, and obviously currently in Afghanistan, are having to run away from everything they have had, just to survive persecution (and potentially even death) under various strict regimes.

We in the West are SO fortunate.

Many of us simply don’t realise the paradise we are living in, compared to some places around the globe.
We live in societies that most of the world’s populations would trade with us in a heartbeat, and we “still” find time to moan and groan about the little things which are really inconsequential and meaningless.

We can get upset with not having the latest iPhone or latest Android gadget, or get worried and concerned that we may not look that great on social media.
We SO have to get into perspective, just what IS important in life.

Many things in Western societies are almost handed to us on a plate. So this can create a group of people in society, who believe they are simply entitled to expect things to be given to them without having first earned their way. This entitlement and constant “ease” of obtaining most of the things they desire, makes “physical things” important to collect. When in reality, physical things have no true value at all.

First off, we should be grateful, that by and large, the majority of us don’t live in fear.
We don’t face the potential threat of someone knocking on our door in the middle of the night, accusing us of having done something fairly innocuous, but therefore worthy of enslavement or even death, in the eyes of the authorities.

Secondly, we have relative abundance. By and large, we can get what we want, when we want it if we have earned it.

Thirdly, most of us live in freedom and are able to do what we choose; go where we want and say what we wish; without fear of persecution.

So when you next feel the need to grumble about missing out on the latest fad, device or clothing, or feel that your social media image is being tarnished, step back, have a look at the bigger picture and realise that these things are indeed meaningless in the greater scheme of things.

Instead look and appreciate the “real” important things in life, like living in peace, having abundance and having our freedom to do what we want.
These are the true things we are fortunate to have, that so many other people around the world, crave!

Have you had to put yourself “out there” especially online, for a business, hobby, church or charity but had some feedback that wasn’t as great as you had first hoped?

Well, this unfortunately is part of the journey. As soon as you raise your head above the parapet, you will get some people slinging mud at you!

It is just one of these things and you shouldn’t take most of the stuff personally anyway, even if it appears directed personally at you. You have to develop a little bit of a thick skin if you want to succeed and move forward in whatever you are trying.

Remember, some people are struggling to like themselves and find it far easier to have a go at other people for their own shortcomings. This gives them a short term “feel good”, but it doesn’t last. This is because the problem is with them all along and has nothing to do with you.

Most of the negativity that we are subjected to is from online sources and very rarely would some of the words people write, ever be used in a face to face scenario.

So remember, don’t take things personally if you are criticised online and you believe others don’t like you. Because the problem is likely with them rather than with you.

Although “thinking things through” is a good approach before taking most actions, sometimes some people get muddled up using this thinking with “every decision that is needed to be made“!?!

On some occasions “overthinking” will just cause paralysis and you may miss out on the opportunity or situation presented.

So you need to make sure that what you are “thinking” about or deliberating about is warranted for the situation that has been presented to you.

There is no point overthinking a decision that doesn’t have long term repercussions. In this scenario, a quick response is perhaps warranted. And you can go with a “gut” feeling if this is the way you happen to operate

On the occasions where the decision has long term repercussions, then of course this is the time when you DO need to take time and think through the decision. Because getting these types of decisions wrong, could have lasting long term issues

So you may be wondering what is the right approach?

Well, each scenario is different and there isn’t a “one size fits all” correct approach!

You need to gauge whether the scenario presented will have long term repercussions for you or others. So you should approach each decision and ponder whether the outcome could have a bearing in a year’s time or even more? And this outcome may not be just what happens to you, but to anyone important to you too!

If it does, then ponder and DO take the time to come to your decision.
And if NO is the correct answer for this particular circumstance, then say “NO” too!

If on the other hand, the decision is a simple as picking a film to watch, then it doesn’t need this sort of long thought out deliberation and a swift choice is simply needed

But a word of warning…DO “think” about the decision, even if you believe a simple quick answer is warranted. Because you may be surprised that even a simple decision on the surface, could come back and bite you in the bum later!

However, you’ve got all the power and internal magic already to deal with anything life throws at you. Understand, this is what life does…sending you challenges to see whether you’re worthy.
Each challenge you are given is merely a life lesson, that you need to learn and grow from.

Sure, sometimes you may think, “come on, I’ve had enough already…!?!”

And you will most likely also say, “No, why me, again!?!”

You will also wonder at times if you can indeed deal with all this “stuff” that comes your way and simply struggle (and hope) to keep your head above water.

But understand, this cr!p is all part of life’s journey and sent your way for YOU to learn from.

So the end result of all these life lessons?

A stronger version of you! Yes, I know whilst going through all the pain, you may think, “why me?” – but this is just so you grow, despite the angst whilst in the middle of the struggle.

So if you are unlucky to get anything like this again in future, you are firstly equipped to deal with it AND you have also gained valuable wisdom to pass these life lessons on how to overcome the challenges, onto others!

Feedback by and large IS good, because it is the only way of finding out what you did well and what you didn’t do quite so well, so you can take stock and make adjustments where appropriate

However who is giving you that feedback is also very key…

Are you taking feedback from “EVERY” Tom, Dick and Harry?

Because if they are not in any circle of influence for you, you shouldn’t be taking it on board. Listen of course, because they “may” make a valid point at times. Otherwise just treat their comments as mere opinion, rather than guidance.

If they are a customer who spends money with you so you value their feedback or a peer and/or consultant who has similar experience with whom you are soliciting feedback. then of course take the feedback on board.

However, if they don’t fit this small group of people, then listen of course out of politeness, but don’t be influenced by it, especially if it appears bad advice or strange suggestions.

Because you may soon discover that not everyone has your best interests at heart and they could be out to merely tear you down, as opposed to give you sound proper feedback that you can use to move forward with.

Someone posed a very interesting question today and that was, “what if all we experience (or think we are experiencing) is in actual fact a dream?”

So in essence what we are doing is in living within a vivid dream. So when we sleep that is the reality of existence…!?!

To be honest, I was blown away with this thought, as there is no real way of confirming or denying whether it is EVEN true or can be proved? So it was just a philosophical question in the end…

But it did lead me to think along similar lines, where, if we do act in a certain manner, then life tends to reflect this manner back towards us, so we end up experiencing more of what we give out. Maybe not straight away, but perhaps later on in some way.

This then would imply we are not mere feathers blowing in the “wind of life” and carried along the path of existence, unsure of where the wind will take us next.

But instead, our actions can direct the flow of the “metaphorical feather in the wind” and we can influence where the feather moves to (although not perfectly) but certainly, in the “general” direction we want to go in

So if we behave badly, then the feather moving in the wind of life, will travel toward dangers and places we don’t actually want to go to. Whereas if we live our life with purpose and try and do good as best we can with our abilities, then the feather is steered towards nicer places and outcomes.

Meaning we are in some control of our direction in life and are not merely leaving “everything” to mere chance