It’s their fault not mine…!

Who has heard someone say this before?

Maybe it was you that said it too

But let’s analyze this for a second…

If something has happened and you genuinely had no involvement whatsoever, nor did you have any influence in the outcome in any way (either physically or verbally), then “yes” you can say, it is not your fault.

However, if there is an outcome that was due to something you did or said, or you somehow “steered” the outcome in a direction slightly differently than it would otherwise have gone, then you cannot say it is no longer your fault. You had a part to play, even if that part was very insignificant

What we need to understand is that we have a responsibility for our actions (and this includes words too!) and we shouldn’t shirk away from this. If we discover that something has gone wrong and we have had some role to play in it not going as planned, we need to stand up and take responsibility for our role in it.

We then need to learn lessons from the issue and then try and correct it

This way things can move forward.

However, there is something we mustn’t do in all this. And that is blame ourselves in a negative or disparaging way and then mull over it to our detriment.

Don’t start beating yourself up! This is common to do, but it just negatively affects your mental health and provides NO solutions. This helps no one and particularly doesn’t help you!

Instead, acknowledge, learn, and move on! And if able to have another go, apply what you have learned to get the “right” outcome.