Author: Tony Fasulo

The way you act towards others reflects back to you…

Be nice and you attract nice things toward you.

Want love? Choose to be lovely and you will attract love.

Want happiness? Chose to be happy and you will attract happiness!

But be aware this also works in reverse. So behaving badly attracts bad behaviour. Being sad attracts further sadness, and not being lovely, certainly doesn’t attract love, it repels it.

Someone did say, “…aren’t you happy because of how life treats you?”
“So if life is bad, then your emotions reflect how you have faired. So if you encounter sadness, then you are sad and not happy, etc…”

Whilst yes there will be times when you encounter sadness and therefore you will be sad. You are only sad for a short time it is not your “default” state of being.

The sadness will pass and you will then return to being happy. You don’t “stay” constantly sad. Being sad all the time, should not be your default state. Rather you need to be happy as your default state, with only the occasional sadness that sometimes life brings. Certainly not the other way around.

And it is this that some people struggle with.

So act the best you can be towards others, with love, with kindness, with happiness and that good will reflect back to you!

Be genuine, be real and be true to yourself!
You’ll sleep so much better at night as you’re not living your life behind deceit and false pretences, or trying to keep up a facade for the benefit of other people.

If you do put up this veil of deceit by trying to be someone else in your actions, this will soon wear thin and the cracks will start to appear and others will see through the false image

So isn’t it better to just dispense with this false narrative of trying to be someone who isn’t you?

If you’re not happy with yourself, then just improve who you are, but don’t try and be someone else in order to try and impress others. This is just doomed to failure.

So be who you really are. Show people the real you, but make that real you the best version of YOU

You must not forget to live your life.

You may be wondering, “What does Tony mean by that?”

Or you may say, “Of course, I am living my life?!?”

Well, what I mean is that we are only on this planet for a relatively short period of time on the grand scale of things. And so we need to grasp opportunities whilst through life’s journey and don’t forget to make meaningful memories along the way too.

Because eventually, we will all get to our deathbed at the end of life and we want to recollect those meaningful memories that made life worth living, not the regret for those unfulfilled dreams or forsaken relationships

So I say, live your life.

Do what drives your heart and find and act upon your passion. Because all we have at the end of our journey are memories (not things). And those wonderful memories should bring that satisfied smile to our faces, knowing we led a life worth living rather than a life with regrets with missed opportunities

Don’t show love to family and friends only on those special occasions in the year. Like birthdays, Easter, Christmas, etc.

Love should be shown all the time all the year round. Otherwise, there is a chance of a disconnect between one another and this isn’t good for our well-being nor for our loved ones.

Now I don’t mean you have to be around them 24/7 of course, but you can do the little things every now and then to show you are thinking about them and they are in your thoughts. This small thing goes a long way.

So with modern communication methods at our disposal, this should be really easy in this day and age. So even a simple text message every so often to ask how they are is a good option.

If you and they both use social media, keeping in touch via these channels is relatively easy these days.

And if you haven’t got or don’t use any of these modern technology options, a good old-fashioned phone call or even a handwritten letter once in a while, work wonders to show that you care and are still thinking about them

Yes, we are all busy in our day-to-day lives, having to juggle all the challenges that life brings. But keeping in touch regularly with people you love to show them that you care, keeps the bonds strong and ensures you all benefit.

No, you can’t control the results you want, but you can control 100% of the activity needed to get the results you want.

Results are merely the outcome of the activity! So if you do want to get as close to the results you want, you need to get good at the activity and monitor the activity very carefully and adjust and measure the activity every step of the way.

So the focus is on getting the amount of activity right, for your desired results!

So the takeaway here is to measure, measure, and measure some more.

Track the activity closely…

• Measure whether is it enough?
• Do you need to increase it?
• Is it the correct activity for your particular goal? Or do you need to adjust it?
• Get specialist help to determine whether the activity fits the outcomes in the desired timeframes, if you are not equipped or knowledgeable yet to determine this

Once you grasp that the activity is the focus of your attention despite the end goal being the final destination, then the end goal will be achieved

Because if they are not in any circle of influence for you, you shouldn’t really be taking it on board…

Listen of course, because they “may” make some valid point at times.

However, just treat their comments as mere opinions, rather than guidance. You need to be mindful of “WHO” you take your guidance from to then act on that guidance.

Everyone has an opinion but not everyone has your best interests at heart. So be mindful of whom you get your advice, feedback or guidance from.

Choose wisely!

Happiness is a choice, it isn’t based on what things happen in your life.

Happiness is a personal trait and a choice! So if you choose to be happy then you will be!

Some people have said,

“Oh if only I had xxxx, then I would be happy…” or

“If I could be just like xxxx, then I would be happy…”

There are many examples of this where people are determining their happiness based on the outcome of an external situation or action. This is incorrect, as happiness is far more powerful when it is an internal trait. Sure external things can enhance happiness or decrease it, but you are still the “owner” of how you choose whether to be happy or not?

You can’t delegate happiness to external factors only, as you will be forever the victim of the “winds of life” that are passing your way. And as we know, life can be harsh sometimes. So when it is harsh, even if just a little bit, then bang goes your happiness.

However, if you choose to be happy and this comes from within, because for instance, you are happy to be alive, then external factors won’t stop you from being happy. Because you have made the choice not the external factor determining it for you.

External factors can affect your level of happiness of course because we are emotional creatures after all. But external factors shouldn’t undermine or affect YOUR decision on being happy because you own that trait and have chosen to be happy.